I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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