if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize