He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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