Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
