Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
