So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just invented taco cereal.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Another day, another engagement, another cat
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
