I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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