theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
