I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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