I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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