Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
