he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
