As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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