Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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