Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
