There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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