apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
