butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
