so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
