I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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