Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Randomize
