exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
