How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
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I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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