and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
