why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
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We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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