Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
