Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Hippo gnu deer
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize