just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize