hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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