I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
