Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Randomize
