I showed him my bush... on skype.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
