you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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