I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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