god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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