I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
