Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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