on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
