You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
