I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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