Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
