is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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