I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
