p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
