she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
