Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He better not be in your backpack
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize