stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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