If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I did not marry a roomba.
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