I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
