this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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