Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
