after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
