So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
