Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
