did you get engaged???
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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