worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
