is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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