she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
