I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
