I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
