People in love make me want to vomit
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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