dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She bit a glass in half.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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