The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
