the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
