i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
