I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
