I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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