I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
